Monday, February 8, 2010

A crazy doctor...what can a person do

I had this awful visit with a doc I've seen only twice at UCSF, the 1st time he was great & the 2nd acted like we never met. Because my diagnosis have been outside of there (besides my eyes, gland mass's) he wants me tested to see if it's all in my head. I told him I could mail him copies of my diagnosis and test results from my other doctors and he said "if I need your help I will ask". Well fine then!!! I was sent to UCSF and they are the one's telling me who to see and so far have been sending me to department to rule out conditions. The shrink called and believes me since I have physical proof from my scars from surgery's and copies from my Doctor and past test results. Even still I have to play this game to pacify this doctor who is leaving by the way in June. Now since it's in my file I have to go to prove him wrong which means waking up at 5:00 am in the morning to be there by 8:00 oh and it's a 3 hour process.

Wow, that was a lot of venting, lol. I almost said sorry but this is what my blog is about, my life, my real life. I wish my family would accept my health and stop hoping and wishing for a cure. All I want is to spend my life doing things I want and only go to the dr as needed as things come up. I really feel they wont find the cause until it's too late. That's how many chronically ill people live.

Many of my followers are MAC pigment buyers and many have been asking if I'm going to stay in business since MAC changed the jars. YES:) I have plenty of stock with the old jars and when I have to start buying the new jars stock then I'll be raising my price's around .25 per sample. This wont be for around a year so for now I don't have to worry about it.

People ask me how I cope....well my dog helps, my business and acceptance. Is it fair, no but breat cancer and all other diseases are not fair. Spending 95% of my life in pain isn't a way for a person to live but it's taught me to deal with pain and see the good in life. Not to take things for granted. I've been sober almost 21 years, I stopped going to AA meetings after around 10. I found myself judging others when they would get into all the drama about having a flat tire or something while I was living with this body and 24/7 pain. So I found another place to go to which helped me deal with life. In many ways this has made me a better person now if only the progression could stop i'd be grateful, lol.

I had my ultra sound last week on the mass on my thyroid and other gland problems, I get the results Thursday. I'll try and write more soon after that.

Time to rest and then go to bed. Thank you all who read and follow this.


  1. It will be intersting to know what your thyroid ultrasound says about the mass.
    Is that swelling can be seen on your neck?

  2. Hi,
    Yes it's pretty big and I had a MRI last year that originally found it. The ultrasound was to see how much it has grown along with the condition of the other glands. One of my salvatory have a small mass on it and others are enlarged. It will be interesting to see how much it has grown.The left side of my neck is huge and it's very appearent there is something "wrong".

    The therapist called yesterday for info on my upcoming appt and he said he doesnt see why the doctor thinks what he does. I have written documents, test results, ect stating all of my disorders from my doctors outside of UCSF and info from my past surgeries. He feels me being sent there was wrong and the doctor was too lazy to read my file that day and was rude not to accept the documents I had offered to show him. So basically this therapist appt is a waste of time and we are only doing it to pasify this one doctor.

    Thanks for your comment & question :))