You'd think they'd get it.....venting

WELL TODAY I'M HERE TO VENT...MY MOM CALLED THIS MORNING AND SAID SOMETHING THAT I NEED TO GET OFF MY CHEST. MY MOM AND I ARE VERY CLOSE AND KNOW EACH OTHER VERY WELL, I CAN TELL WHEN SHE'S TELLING A "WHITE LIE" AND VISA VERSA AND WE TALK ABOUT ALMOST EVERYTHING. SHE CALLED TWICE YESTERDAY, ONCE WHEN I WAS OUT WITH MY DOG AND THEN AGAIN LATER THAT NIGHT. SHE DIDN'T SOUND WORRIED, SICK, OR ANYTHING THAT WOULD MAKE ME CONCERNED TO FEEL I HAD TO CALL BACK RIGHT AWAY. I WAS IN A LOT OF PAIN DUE TO THE HEATWAVE HERE AND WASN'T IN THE MOOD TO TALK. SO ANYWAY, LOL, SHE CALLS THIS MORNING AND SAYS "WE ALMOST CALLED 911, WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME BACK YESTERDAY". I KNEW DANG WELL SHE WASN'T WORRIED BECAUSE WHEN SHE IS SHE WILL LEAVE A MESSAGE AND SAY "I'M WORRIED PLEASE PICK-UP OR CALL BACK". THE TRUTH IS SHE WAS USING MY HEALTH AS AN EXCUSE TO BE UPSET FOR ME NOT PICKING UP THE PHONE. THE DAY PRIOR SHE HAD A TOOTH REMOVED AND I GUESS IT GOT A INFECTION AND THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT WHICH IS FINE BUT DON'T PUT YOUR STUFF ONTO ME. SHE EVEN ADMITTED SHE SAID SHE WENT TO THE "DOCTORS" INSTEAD OF GETTING HER TEETH CLEANED AT THE DENTIST IN HOPES THAT WOULD MAKE ME CALL HER. WELL I KNOW HER AND KNEW WHEN SHE SAID THE WORD "DOCTOR" SHE WAS PLAYING A LITTLE MIND GAME. I CAN TELL BY HER VOICE WHEN SHE'S NOT TELLING THE TRUTH & PLAYING SMALL GAMES LIKE THIS. I DON'T MIND THAT STUFF CAUSE KNOW ONE IS PERFECT BUT WHAT DOES BOTHER ME IS USING MY HEALTH & 911, TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD. DON'T GET ME WRONG, I KNOW MY FOLKS WORRY AND I CAN TELL BY THERE VOICE WHEN THEY ARE AND THEY HAVE EVERY REASON TO WORRY. I WISH I COULD TAKE SOME OF IT AWAY FROM THEM FOR IT HAS AFFECTED THERE LIFE, RETIREMENT AND HOW THEY SPEND IT. THAT'S ANOTHER STORY THOUGH, THEY ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME AND HELP ME WITH SO MUCH:) I'M BLESSED TO HAVE THEM FOR MY PARENTS AND MORE THEN THAT THEY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS. BY THE END OF THE DAY MY PAIN IS SO SEVERE WALKING TO THE BATHROOM, TO THE PHONE, TAKING MY DOG OUT BACK, ECT IS HELL ON ME. THE MOST PAINFUL PART OF MY BODY IS THE NERVE PAIN IN MY ANKLES/FEET. I HAVE ALSO IT IN BOTH HANDS AND SHOULDERS BUT THE FEET ARE THE WORSE PLACE. MY MEDICATIONS HELP JUST ENOUGH TO KEEP ME OUT OF A WHEEL CHAIR SO BY NIGHT TIME THE PAIN LEVEL IS 10 FOLD. I TALK TO MY MOM EVERY MORNING, MORNING TIME IS THE BEST SINCE MENTALLY I CAN LISTEN AND HAVE A BETTER CONVERSATION. BY THE EVENING SHE KNOWS I'M IN BAD SHAPE AND DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE...SHE KNOWS THAT, HECK EVERYONE KNOWS I DON'T ANSWER MY PHONE AT NIGHT. SO BACK TO MY ORIGINAL QUESTION IN THE TITLE OF THIS ENTRY...WHY CANT SHE/THEY GET IT? THEY "WORRY" BUT FORGET ME HAVING TO TAKE A FEW STEPS ARE PURE HELL, THAT 3-4 DAYS OUT OF 7 I HAVE A BAD MIGRAINE, MY EDEMA IN MY LEGS ARE SO BAD I CANT DO ANYTHING BUT KEEP THEM ELEVATED. THE LIST GOES ON AND ON MY WHOLE BODY IS AFFECTED...I'VE LEARNED TO LIVE WITH THIS, IT'S MY LIFE. SO WHY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS HASN'T SHE? IF SOMEONE CALLS AND SAY "PICK-UP, I'M WORRIED" THEN ACOURSE I PICK UP THE PHONE AND LET THEM KNOW I'M OK. I KNOW THIS SOUNDS PETTY AND I'LL PROBABLY POST IT AND DELETE IT TOMORROW. SHE DOES THIS SMALL STUFF AND IT BUGS ME, USUALLY I'M ABLE TO LET IT GO BUT I THINK BECAUSE SHE USED "ME & MY HEALTH" AS HER EXCUSE & IS WHY IT'S STUCK WITH ME TODAY. IF SHE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT "HER DAY" AND NEEDED ME THAT'S ALL SHE WOULD HAVE HAD TO SAY AND I WOULD HAVE ANSWERED THE PHONE. SHE ONLY DOES THIS HERE AND THERE, USING MY HEALTH AS AN "EXCUSE" WHEN IN FACT SHE JUST WANTS TO TALK. I KNOW SHE MISS'S ME AT TIMES, HECK I MISS THE OLD ME TOO. TO BE LIKE I WAS A FEW YEARS AGO WOULD BE GREAT AND BACK THEN I THOUGHT THINGS COULDN'T GET WORSE, I WAS WRONG. FOR ME TO STAY MENTALLY SANE ON A DAILY BASIS I CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH AND HAVE MY QUITE TIME. FOR PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN 24/7 PAIN WITH ONLY A FEW HOURS BREAK WHILE THEY SLEEP HERE AND THERE DURING THE NIGHT IT'S A HARD LIFE. SOMETIMES I BREAK DOWN IN TEARS LIKE 3 DAYS AGO BECAUSE A "EPISODE" OF NERVE PAIN IN MY HEAD, DOWN MY ARM AND INTO MY CHEST WAS SO BAD I WAS SCREAMING. I DON'T KNOW WHEN THESE THINGS HAPPEN IF I'M DYING OR WHAT AND TO STAY AS POSITIVE AS I AM TAKES A LOT. THE MORE I WRITE THE MORE I SEE WHAT'S REALLY BOTHERING ME ABOUT MY MOM. TO USE SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS MY HEALTH AS A FRONT HURTS. A PERSON SHOULDN'T PLAY GAMES ABOUT THAT, IT'S LIKE THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF. NOW I WON'T BELIEVE IT WHEN SHE CALLS SAYING SHE'S WORRIED EXPECT BY THE TONE OF HER VOICE. THAT HAS TO BE A SEPARATE AND A LINE THAT CANT BE CROSSED, IT'S LIFE AND DEATH FOR ME AT ANYTIME. WE HAVE A AGREEMENT FOR ME NOT TO GO 2 DAYS WITHOUT TALKING TO THEM, AFTER THAT TIME PERIOD THEY WONDER IF I'M LAYING THERE NEEDING HELP OR EVEN WORSE. THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE AND SOMETHING WE ALL AGREE IS THE BEST & SAFEST THING. MY FOLKS LIVE CLOSE TO ME AND SEE WHAT I GO THROUGH PHYSICALLY AND GO TO MOST OF MY DR'S APPOINTMENTS SO THEY KNOW EVERYTHING. I DON'T TELL THEM MY DAILY STRUGGLES OR COMPLAIN ABOUT THE PAIN AND ONLY MENTION SOMETHING IF THEY ASK OR IF A NEW SYMPTOM HAS COME UP. I DON'T TELL THEM MY DAILY "PAINS" BECAUSE THEY WORRY ENOUGH AS IT IS, AND THEY ALREADY KNOW. THEY'VE SEEN DAYS WHERE I CANT WALK, MOVE, ARTERY PROBLEMS, DOUBLE VISION SO BAD CANT SEE, EVERYTHING. THEY KNOW IT ALL SO WHEN IT'S AN ON-GOING CONDITION THEY CANT HELP WITH I LIKE TO GIVE THEM A BREAK FROM WORRYING OR HAVING THERE MINDS FOCUSED ON ME ALL DAY. THEY HAVE A LIFE TOO WHICH I WANT THEM TO ENJOY AS MUCH AS THEY CAN. SO WHY IS HONESTY SO HARD AT TIMES FOR THE SMALLEST SITUATIONS LIKE THIS?? OR IS MY PAIN GETTING THE BEST TO ME TODAY, I'D LOVE TO HEAR BACK FROM SOMEONE IF I DON'T DELETE THIS TOMORROW:)