10/04/09 ENTRY

HI ALL, THINGS ARE MENTALLY BACK TO NORMAL. ONCE AGAIN TO MY READERS I'M SORRY ABOUT THE ALL CAPS BUT IT'S EASIER TO TYPE THIS WAY. I HAVE A FEW MORE TEST RESULTS TO SHARE AND WANT TO WRITE ABOUT HOW I'M DOING MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY AND ABOUT MY BUSINESS. FIRST THE TEST RESULTS: I GOT MY BRAIN MRI BACK WHICH I NEW WOULD COME OUT OK, WHICH MOST OF IT DID. I WAS SURPRISED BY THE DIAG. OF A " PROGRESSION OF THE PATIENTS CHRONIC SINUS DISEASE". WHAT SINUS DISEASE???, I NEVER KNEW I HAD ONE, LOL BUT THAT EXPLAINS WHY MY NOSE IS ALWAYS DRY, LOL. IT ALSO SHOWED A "HYPERSENSITIVITY IN THE WHITE MATTER IN THE BRAIN", ONCE AGAIN WHAT IN HECK DOES THAT MEAN? THE EYE DR IN NEURO SAID NOTHING IS WRONG WITH THE NERVES IN MY EYES, WHICH IS GOOD AND I ALREADY KNEW. AT LEAST THAT'S ONE DOCTOR I WON'T HAVE TO SEE AGAIN OUT OF COUNTLESS THERE. TUESDAY I SEE THE UCSF EYE DOCTOR TO SEE IF ANY GLASS'S CAN HELP AND THE FOLLOWING WEEK IS THE CARDIO. HOPEFULLY I CAN START GETTING RID OF THE SPECIALTY DEPARTMENTS AND STAY IN JUST A FEW. SINCE THE PROBLEMS ARE WIDE SPREAD THAT MIGHT NOT BE POSSIBLE VERY SOON. ABOUT MY MENTAL & EMOTIONAL STATE. I'M DOING PRETTY GOOD, I EXCEPT THIS IS THE LIFE I'VE BEEN GIVEN AND KNOW IT'S FOR A REASON. INSTEAD OF FIGHTING IT & WISHING THIS OR THAT, I'D RATHER SPEND MY TIME JUST LIVING LIFE AS IT COMES. YES I HAVE LIMITATIONS BUT WHATEVER HAPPENS I'D RATHER BE SPENDING MY TIME WITH MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY. THAT'S WHY I'M GIVING MYSELF A YEAR AT UCSF FOR THEM TO FIND/HELP AND IF THEY CANT THEN I'M GOING TO STOP GOING. I'M NOT GIVING UP BUT I WOULD RATHER BE SPENDING WHATEVER TIME I HAVE LEFT DOING THINGS I WANT. LIFE ENDS TOO SHORT FOR EVERYONE, HECK I COULD BE HIT BY A CAR TOMORROW. I'M NOT SAYING I'M DYING SOON, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MY LIFE SPAN IS. THIS HAS BEEN A 24 YEAR JOURNEY AND THAT'S NOT COUNTING HEALTH ISSUE'S BEFORE THE CHRONIC ONES. COMING TO THIS CONCLUSION/DECISION HAS BEEN A RELIEF, I'M AT PEACE WITHIN AND THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. BEING HAPPY IS SO IMPORTANT AND I'M HAPPY WITH WHO I AM, SPENDING TIME WITH OTHERS, LOVE MY BUSINESS AND WOULD LIKE TO FINALLY HAVE TIME TO DATE AGAIN. A LITTLE ABOUT MY BUSINESS, I LOVE DOING WHAT I DO. YEAH THERE ARE DAYS WHERE I'M SO TIRED OR IN PAIN IT'S HARD BUT I DO IT ANYWAY. THERE ARE OTHER DAYS WERE I GO NON STOP FILLING ORDERS AND FEEL GOOD. EITHER WAY WHEN I READ MY BUYERS HAPPY EMAILS IT PUTS A SMILE ON MY FACE, SEEING THEM SO PLEASED REMINDS ME WHY I KEEP DOING IT. ONCE AGAIN IT'S ABOUT BEING HAPPY IN LIFE AND SEEING THEM HAPPY MAKES ME HAPPY. MOST SELLERS ARE IN IT FOR THE MONEY BUT NOT ME, I DO THIS FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH, I ENJOY IT AND TAKE PRIDE IN GIVING PEOPLE A SAFE PLACE TO BUY AN AUTHENTIC PRODUCT AT A GOOD PRICE. I GIVE GREAT SERVICE, FAST SHIPPING, GREAT PRICES AND A GREAT AMOUNT OF PRODUCT, MORE THEN I ADVERTISE. I ALSO MAKE MY OWN LINE OF SHIMMERS AND LOVE CREATING NEW COLORS. I RECENTLY MAKE 3 MORE BUT I'M SO BAD AT TAKING PICTURES THAT I HAVEN'T LISTED THEM YET, ANYONE OUT THERE WITH TIPS ON HOW TO TAKE A GOOD PICTURE? PART OF ME WAS WORRIED ABOUT WRITING THIS BLOG AND LOSING BUYERS BUT KNOWING MY REGULAR BUYERS IT WON'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE. MOST PEOPLE KNOW THAT LUPUS, SECONDARY PROBLEMS FROM LUPUS, ARTHRITIS, CARPEL TUNNEL, MISC NERVE DAMAGE, ECT ISN'T CONTAGIOUS OTHERWISE MY WHOLE FAMILY WOULD BE SICK, LOL. COURSE IF I GET THE FLU OR A COLD I DON'T FILL ORDERS LIKE ALL SELLERS IN MY LINE OF BUSINESS SHOULDN'T. I HOPE IT WON'T HURT ANY FUTURE NEW BUYERS FROM PURCHASING FROM ME, I DON'T THINK IT WILL BUT IF IT DOES, WELL IT'S WORTH IT IF MY BLOG HELPS JUST ONE PERSON OUT THERE SUFFERING OR WHO CAN RELATE. ENOUGH FOR ONE DAY. I'M HOPING MY NEXT ENTRY WILL BE FILLING IN SOME OF THE HOLES OF THE YEARS BETWEEN WHEN IT STARTED TO TODAY. 10/8/09 I SAW THE 3RD EYE SPECIALIST AT UCSF AND LIKE THE FIRST ONE HE FOUND PLENTY WRONG. HE THOUGHT AS I DID IT'S THE MUSCLES IN MY EYES AND AS THE TEST WENT ON THAT'S WHAT HE CONCLUDED. ONE OF MY EYE'S DOESN'T STAY STILL OR IS NOT EN LINED WITH THE OTHER WHICH IS CAUSING HOPEFULLY MOST OF THE DOUBLE VISION. BOTH EYE'S HAVE STIGMATISMS, NOT JUST ONE LIKE THE LAST DR MENTIONED. IF I WAS SMART I'D LIST ALL THE EYE INFO TOGETHER FOR PEOPLE READING THIS BUT SINCE THIS IS A ON GOING STORY ABOUT MY LIFE I GUESS THIS IS OK. THE DR SAID MANY OF WHAT THE FIRST EYE DR SAID BUT THIS GUY IS MAINLY TO HELP WITH THE DOUBLE VISION AND GIVE ME GLASS'S IF THEY COULD HELP. HE DID GIVE ME GLASS'S, 2 PAIRS WHICH WILL HELP WITH THE DOUBLE VISION BUT NOT SO MUCH WITH MY UNKNOWN CAUSE OF POOR VISION. HE SAID "WHAT EVER I HAVE" IS WHATS CAUSING ALL OF THIS TO HAPPEN TO MY EYES. ONCE AGAIN, UNTIL WE CAN GET TO THE OVERALL BOTTOM OF MY DISEASE THERE IS NOTHING PEOPLE CAN DO EXCEPT GIVE ME "BAND AIDS". NOW I'M GRATEFUL FOR THE GLASS'S, I DON'T GET THEM FOR A WEEK OR SO AND AM PRAYING THEY WILL HELP:) WHEN IT COMES TO THE LIGHT SENSITIVITY WELL I'M STUCK ALONG WITH THE PROGRESSION OF THEY EYES GETTING WORSE. FOR NOW THOUGH I'M HAPPY WITH THE VISIT, HE WAS ALSO VERY HANDSOME, MY MOM ALMOST DIED, LOL AND HE WAS VERY NICE. THAT'S ONE THING ABOUT UCSF, OUT OF ALL OF THE DR'S, NURSES AND OFFICE STAFF I'VE ONLY HAD 1 DOCTOR THAT WAS RUDE AND 2 RUDE OFFICE GALS THE REST ARE THE NICEST AND MOST CARING/HELPFUL PEOPLE YOU'LL EVER MEET IN THE MEDICAL FIELD. THEY REALLY CARE FOR YOU WHICH HELPS ME CONTINUE DOING THESE LONG DRIVES AND VISITS. ANOTHER UPDATE, THE MEDICATION FOR MY LEAKING LIVER/PANCREAS DIDN'T HELP, ALL IT DID WAS GET ME SICK. SO FOR NOW THAT'S UP IN THE AIR UNTIL I SEE MY GI DOCTOR AGAIN.